Motivation, Moments & Silver Linings
Written by Nichole Kribs
Many of us have found ourselves in situations where we have a setback. For example, in 2013-2014 I experienced low back discomfort. Some weeks it would be great and I could go along with my regular training. Other weeks my back would be tender and I would not be able to pull from the floor. Then, things really came to a head in early 2014. I was in the middle of a workout when all of a sudden I felt immediate pain shot through my back. I had to stop abruptly in the middle of the workout and give my back instant relief. I was unable to walk for days after this incident. I rested my back from ANY pulling and focused on strict gymnastics work and building my aerobic base for the next two months, preparing for the 2014 CrossFit Games Season to begin. Fast forward to the announcement for the Open workout 14.1.; I was really excited to do the workout but a little nervous since I had not pulled from the floor for two months, let alone a ‘CrossFit’ workout. I decided to go for it, since I was super excited to start the Open and wanted to help my team. I thought it would be a good idea.
Bad idea. My back locked up immediately after the workout and I was unable to walk for days. I was in severe pain, on muscle relaxers and seeking help to schedule an MRI. I was devastated. I felt really lost.
‘How am I going to compete with my team if I can’t walk?’
‘How long am I going to be in pain?’
‘When can I train again?’
All of these thoughts were racing through my mind. I cried just at the thought of not being able to compete with my beloved Team for my 5th year.
I am going to be totally honest here. Having an injury plays with you, both mentally and emotionally. I would like to say that I had just risen to the top and I headed into each day telling myself that I am stronger for going through this, but that wasn’t the case. I had MOMENTS where I felt empowered and felt that I was going to come back stronger than ever. But I also had moments of real self doubt. The truth being, it was hard to go to a place of work (the gym) and spend the day being reminded of what I couldn’t do. It was hard to watch people compete during the Open, something that I LOVED, while I had to sit on the sidelines. Sitting on the sidelines sucked! I recognized that I was struggling emotionally and had to continue to reach out to my friends for their support. My days were a constant battle of trying to just stay balanced and not have too many ups and down. Being in the midst of dealing with an injury is rough and no one likes to talk about it. But here I am, talking about it. Why?
Because injury is something that many athletes have to deal with. It is something that can be an unfortunate consequence of doing what we love. It is hard to talk about because our persona as an athlete is to be tough and indestructible, but we are all human. It is also really easy to sink into a depressed state and lose motivation for something that you were once so passionate about. And you don’t lose motivation because you stop loving what you did. One can lose motivation because it is too painful to think about not being at the level you were once at or what the future holds for you. This is why it is so important for us to talk about injury and how to work through the mental and emotional aspects of injury.
A few days after my back incident in 2014, I went out and bought a journal. I decided that I was going to write down everything that I was thankful for since my back injury and hoped to lift my spirits by doing this.
I started my gratitude journal with ‘thankful for my wonderful family and friends who have given me support during this time’. I went ahead and listed every act of support from each friend of mine. I listed everything, from my teammates coming over to make me dinner, to clients sending me get better cards, to the phone calls and gift packages sent from friends afar. I listed everything. And I soon realized I had pages and pages of kind acts showen to me by my dear, dear friends.
Wow. What an incredible feeling to sit back and reflect on how many people support and care about you. I realized that we don’t do this nearly enough. My gratitude journal prompted me to take a look at my back injury in a different light. I want to share some of the epiphanies I experienced during that time:
- We all need support. No matter how tough you may come across and no matter how put together you look, we all need support. It is really hard for many of us to accept that support. My back injury FORCED me to accept and acknowledge support. And wow, how thankful I was that my circumstances allowed me to receive support. It made me realize that we all need to let down our guard and accept support from our loved ones. Not only does it allow you to feel strength when you feel like you don’t have any left, but it also gives satisfaction to our friends when we allow them to help us.
- Uncertainty. This is a big one. There is so much uncertainty in life. In fact, that is all life is – a whole bundle of uncertainty. We try, however, to dispel any uncertainty in our life and try to control as many factors as possible. I am definitely a culprit of this. I am very routine-oriented; I like to control as many outcomes as possible and schedule every minute of my day. I avoid uncertainty like the plague. Well, injury can leave you floundering in the sea of uncertainty. I was constantly thinking “When is my back going to be healed enough for me to workout?”, “Am I going to lose all my strength and conditioning gains?”…and on and on. I realized that this amount of fretting and wringing of my hands impeded me from having a positive outlook! After returning to one of my favorite books (Living Beautifully: Amid Uncertainty and Change) and listening to Tony Robbins, I was reminded that NOTHING in life is certain. The best thing we can do is accept the uncertainty and be malleable enough to bend and mold around the uncertainties. The better we are at accepting uncertainty in life, the more resilient we will be when we encounter it.
- Patience. One of the finest qualities that a person can have. Patience and uncertainty go hand in hand. We want to control the outcomes by being impatient and rushing to our own conclusions. However, if we practice patience, don’t immediately swim away from the shore of uncertainty and let our bodies tell us when the time is right then we will be far better off.
Creating awareness about these things can contribute to a healthy mindset and proper healing. Choose to view the glass half full and notice daily show gratitude for everything you have. Building that appreciation will absolutely help you get through tough times.
