It’s How You Play Your Hand
Written by Invictus Member Rachel Ragosa
You may recognize Tasha as the woman walking around the gym, always smiling. In the last five months, Tasha has made a big impact on the Invictus community. Despite facing significant challenges throughout her life, she continues to retain an admirable positive attitude. No matter what difficulty you are facing, Tasha’s advice and unrelenting drive will no doubt inspire you.
Sometimes life has a way of completely turning your world upside down. A single moment in time changes your life forever. Tasha remembers that moment sitting in the pediatrician’s office. She had just given birth to her second son Matteo and had her 15-month-old son Roman in tow. She thought they were there for an uneventful 8-week post-partum checkup. After struggling with infertility, Tasha and her husband were thrilled to have the family they have always dreamed of. They looked forward to traveling the world while her husband served in the Navy.
To pass the time while in the doctor’s office, Tasha went to grab a magazine lying on a table. The main article posted on the cover in giant bold text read, “The 10 Red Flags of Autism.” Her mother always thought Roman’s lack of speech and disinterest in the world around him was rather odd. Something inside of Tasha urged her to flip to the story and start reading. As she went down the list, her heart dropped. Her son Roman had nine out of the ten warning signs. It was a devastating light bulb moment.
Immediately, she called the developmental specialist office to try and get her son formally assessed. The receptionist told Tasha that there was a three-month wait.
“I told them I would call every single day at 9am to check for a cancellation. So I did, for two months.”
She remained hopeful that her fears were an overreaction. In the meantime, she kept pushing for answers amongst nighttime feedings, long deployments, and her own nagging uncertainty.
Tasha finally received a call that there was a last-minute cancellation at the specialist’s office. The short drive seemed to drag on forever. So much anticipation had built up to this moment. She prepared herself for the news, good or bad. Within five minutes of seeing her son, the specialist formally diagnosed him with autism. The diagnosis made everything seem so much more real.
“That is when I fell in the hole. I felt the dark cloud start to creep over me.”
Tasha went into “go-mode” calling every single service available for their family. Hours upon hours were spent on the phone while juggling the already stressful responsibilities of a mother with two young children. She lived on a steady diet of Starbucks pastries, coffee, and fast food. Every waking moment was spent concentrating on the needs of Roman, with little time for anything else, let alone self-care. Her weight plummeted, then ricocheted skywards. She had no energy and had trouble getting out of bed each morning. Roman’s complex medical problems were difficult to cope with. The constant struggle was taking an enormous emotional and physical toll on Tasha.
One of the hardest parts of having a special needs child is the total isolation. Friends and family don’t know quite what to say, so they say nothing. When Tasha needed friends the most, she felt ostracized due to her son’s diagnosis. She fell deeper and deeper into depression.
One morning while eating blueberry shortbread in the middle of a busy Starbucks, Tasha had a breakthrough.
“I have to get it together. I cannot live like this anymore. I cannot eat this crap anymore.”
That day, she reached out for help through military resources. She attended regular therapy and was put on medication to help with her depression. The fog began to lift and day-by-day she felt stronger.
Once a competitive swimmer, Tasha had the athletic mindset. Tasha knew if she could just start moving again, she could rebuild that self-confidence she so desperately needed. She began with small steps, hiring a babysitter to come and watch Roman and Matteo so she could start running. While running proved to be an excellent cardiovascular workout, it wasn’t quite the distraction she had hoped for. Her friend encouraged her to attend a CrossFit class.
During Tasha’s first CrossFit class, she started focusing on her form and her breathing. Suddenly, the negative feelings that plagued her throughout the day were nowhere to be found. She was immediately hooked.
“Everyday I got physically and emotionally stronger. I felt like I could do anything.”
Over the next few years, she continued to grow and improve, pushing herself in each workout. She started to believe in herself again. Being strong for her two boys was the driving force that continued to move her forward. With Roman’s unique challenges, she would need all the strength she could muster.
“It isn’t about the cards you have been dealt. It’s how you play your hand. I didn’t want to hate my life. I realized my life was what I made it. Every day I made the conscious decision to be happy.”
Through her workouts, she became more and more determined. She was able to fight insurance companies, the government, and the school district to get the therapy and resources her son needed. She never took “no” for an answer.
After a few years at her first CrossFit gym, Tasha felt as thought she had outgrown what they could offer. That is when she found herself at Invictus. She credits her coach, Tino, with developing her Invictus mindset to “come in and do the work”. With his help, she continues to push herself harder than she ever believed possible. Tasha is confident that with his help, she will reach a new level of strength and skill in her athletic abilities.
“Tino’s unwavering confidence and belief in me has lead to a huge mental jump in my own believing in myself!”
Tasha’s advice for those who are facing difficult challenges is just to focus on what is important and ignore the background noise.
“Don’t give up and keep pushing. The days can be better. It may not seem like it, but it does get better.”
We sincerely thank Tasha for sharing her story with us. There is no doubt that she exhibits the epitome of the Invictus mindset.
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